Former AOA member Kwon Mina shared a post on her Instagram account, recounting her story about how she was bullied during her time in AOA and even tried to take her own life.
She left her lengthy response after seeing a DM from a netizen telling her to “get lost, bitch.”
I really, really want to go away too, but I have to take care of my mom.. Ah, more of you are calling me brainless now. Well it’s true, I am brainless. I haven’t properly learned anything and I’ve have to make money for my family ever since I was young. When my dad passed away, I was in the waiting room crying and a certain unnie told me that it was my fault the atmosphere was bad, and to stop crying. She pulled me to the closet of the waiting room, and I said I was so scared since my dad was dying.
Thinking about that, I can’t ever forget those words. Other bullying instances? Other curses? It’s okay, but I was hurt. We got into the same car, but later, I had to take tranquilizers and sleeping pills just so I could put myself to sleep, so I could do my schedules properly. It felt like things were just getting worse and worse, and because of that unnie, I even attempted to take my own life.
It’s okay if you don’t acknowledge me as an idol or actress. I’m not good at it, and I lack a lot. But I was so happy doing it and worked really hard. It’s something I love and didn’t give me any stress. Honestly, I really didn’t want to quit AOA, but because of someone who hated me, I was bullied for 10 years. Honestly, in the end, I just wanted to flip out and curse back at her once..
In the end, I gave up on AOA. It was fun promoting with the other members. Not long ago, that unnie’s father passed away and my heart hurt, but it also felt weird, I know that pain. I went to the funeral and as soon as she saw me, she started crying and said she was sorry, and it was like my heart was collapsing in futility. It was empty. All the blame was gone and it was like everything was okay again, but I was so broken that I was scared.
During my time away from promoting… Of course I thought I would learn something or treat my depression or panic disorder, but a lot of things happened during that time..
Honestly, I’m tired. Right netizens? Like people say on the internet, I don’t know who I am, I don’t know what I do, they don’t like seeing me, I’m loud so no one wants to listen to me, but I wasn’t born because I wanted to be born. I have a mouth and I have hands, but now I can’t control my own self, and I live for my mom.
It’s fine if you don’t look upon me fondly, it’s fine if you don’t pay attention to me, but just leave me alone? I get it, everything is my fault.
Some netizens believe that the unnie Mina is referring to is Jimin, as Jimin’s father passed away back in April 2020. Mina also uploaded a second post, revealing more details about what the member did, as well as the lengths she went regarding her self-harm and attempting to take her own life.
Ah but the reason why I talked about that AOA unnie was because when my dad was confirmed to have terminal pancreatic cancer, I thought my dad would be going, but I was afraid that unnie would scold me again. I was also doing individual acting activities as well as a comeback. I didn’t want to give the members harm, so I did the schedules and I had to memorize the scripts, and there were many parts in which I had to smile as well. I couldn’t be consumed by thoughts about my dad and I thought that I had to finish my work well, so I couldn’t even enter his ward. He was in the terminal stage of pancreatic cancer so seeing him all skin and bones, I couldn’t help but cry. My sister called me and said my dad was looking for me even though he couldn’t speak well already. But if I had cried while doing my schedules, what would I do if that (AOA) unnie said something about it?
I was so young then, so I thought I had to be like that. I thought that that was the right thing. I didn’t want to be scolded. I could’ve seen my dad more but I couldn’t do so and had to send him off just only seeing him close his eyes and hearing the beep. In the sketchbook next to him, he had written with difficulty, “Where is my daughter?” In crooked handwriting. He showed it to the nurse, but I was working at that point of time, so I couldn’t go. “But I heard you had a special ward set up and that you cancelled all your personal schedule. I hope that’s not true. You should be professional too. Don’t cry, okay?” You said I would break the mood, and asked why you had to cautious just because of me too, so I hope you will be able to win over this too.
I still can’t erase that memory. The words unnie said, as well as her actions. Even if it’s honestly a blur, I still remember everything – it remains. Every time that happens, I take medicine and try to bear it but I think the thing with my dad will keep going forever. To unnie, it’s just words that you spat out, but for me, it was something that hurt me. But at the end, when we had 5 minutes to us, I told unnie that it was something that hurt me, back then. That’s when unnie glared at me and said that, “I don’t think I’m such a terrible bitch who would say that sort of words”. So another member unnie said that you did actually say those words, after gathering up a huge amount of courage. I was at a loss so I didn’t reply but on the inside I was thinking, “Are you even human?” And we said goodbye.
To be honest, I’m not smart, so my memory is the worst, but there’s so many things I remember from you endlessly. But I’ll only speak on that one thing, just in case. I wrote a termination agreement with the company – what if they ask me to pay a penalty? I didn’t tell on every single thing – so it should be fine right? Thanks to unnie, I’ve been eating multiple tablets of medicine a day and my left wrist is so cut up that the nerves aren’t working and it stings and hurts. But seeing my mom, I have to live on, I have to earn money. So I am going for scar treatments diligently and although I still have nightmares, the funny thing was, before I left the group, we all went for drinks without unnie every day and had conversations. But even so, we all still don’t know, this. What the reason why you don’t like me?